


Insomnia

by boybrushedred



Category: Tomb Raider (Video Game)
Genre: Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Hacking, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Sorry, Insomnia, Lara/Alex, Lemons, Scars, Sexual Content, Talk Nerdy To Me, Triggers, good movies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:45:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5419313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boybrushedred/pseuds/boybrushedred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sam, if you think you can ‘interview’ me again today for the fourth time, you are so wr-“ Lara stopped mid-sentence, dropping her book and staring at him with wide eyes. </p><p>“This is Alex.” Sam broke the silence. “He’s our technician. Isn’t he handsome for a geek?”</p><p>“Hi” Alex said with a smirk, obviously amused by the situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I had the feeling that there weren't enough Lara/Alex fanfics around...so I am trying to write one.
> 
> I'm still a newbie at writing fanfics, so PLEASE, let me know what you think :) I'd love to hear your opinions and I would really appreciate your opinions and criticism!
> 
> Edit: I'm don't exactly know where I'm going...but we'll see together on the way!

Alex Weiss never really had an interest in the people surrounding him. He had no problem talking to them and listening to the things they had to say, by all means: He always tried to socialize with others as much as he could. It was just that most of the time people bored him to death and he didn’t see any reason to deal with them.

When he thought back to his school days, he remembered that he surprisingly had a lot of friends. He never really felt attached to them though, but he had them anyway. School had always been a child’s game to him, given his high level of intelligence. That was nothing he was proud of, nothing he would be telling others to brag about himself. No, he wasn’t that kind of guy. Alex accepted it as a part of himself, something that was simply there. He admired knowledge in others, though.

He had gotten a job on board of a ship called the “Endurance” that was on an expedition to discover the long forgotten kingdom of Yamatai. Of course, he looked up to working there as a technician because it would surely be interesting to work with a team full of archaeologists. But that was not the reason for his presence here. Always searching for a challenge, a few month ago he had began to hack into several databases that belonged to the government. Unnecessary to say, people didn't like other people to snoop around in their private stuff - especially not the government. They were searching for him at the moment and he saw the chance to disappear for a while as he heard of this expedition. Briefly speaking, he had asked Conrad Roth for sanctuary.

Alex had had to convice Roth a bit, for he hadn't exactly been excited to hide a person on his ship that had a skeleton in the closet. But Jonah was a good friend of him and eventually, Roth had agreed. After all, Alex had even helped him a lot by forging their permits to go on this trip.

“Earth to hacker, helloooo?!”

A voice interrupted his inner monologue. He found himself standing on a dock, in front of him the Endurance, the wind blowing through his hair. He saw a girl with dark short hair standing in the entrance of the ship, leaning against one side of the frame. She was looking through a camcorder, filming him in this very moment.

“Second try” she grinned at him. “I’m Sam Nishimura. Future Documentary Producer.”

She held out her hand to him and he shook it hesitantly.

“You must be Alex Weiss” she continued, clearly noticing the confused look on his face. “I did my research before I arrived here. You’re our technician, right? Cat got your tongue?” she smirked.

Finally, Alex found his words.

“Hey, Sam”, he said shortly. “Are the others already on board?”

“And I thought I was late” she laughed. “Yeah, the others are all inside. Follow me, I’ll show you everything” she said with a smile.

He just nodded and followed her inside.

 

* * *

 

 

“This is the kitchen. Jonah over there is our cook of trust. You will meet the others at dinner at 8 o’clock.” Sam introduced.

"I know Jonah already" Alex laughed a bit. "We're friends actually."

"Oh, good to know..." Sam mumbled.

Behind the kitchen counter stood Jonah, the big man with tattoos, grinning at him and waving a giant knife. Alex assumed he was preparing diner. He looked at his watch: 6:30 pm.

“Lara and I just call him Teddy Bear. He’s really nice...but you know that already, I think. FYI, the restrooms including showers are at the end of that corridor. You look tired. Come on, I’ll show you your cabin. It’s really comfortable, trust me…” she said flirty.

Alex frowned at her undertone with a slight smile and simply followed her around again. He knew girls like Sam. He had experienced relationships with girls similar to her, crazy girls that just wanted to have fun. He knew what she was about. She knew what she wanted and she would probably get it. Just not from him, Alex thought to himself with a little laugh as he shook is head.

“So, this here is your room. Next to yours is mine, and next to that is Lara’s. Come on, let’s pay her a visit” she suggested as Alex threw his bag in the middle of his room. He could tidy up everything later. “Most likely, she is studying right now. She’s working hard to become an archaeologist, you know? She’s my best friend and the most passionate person I know” Sam said with a smile on her face.

Opening Lara’s door without knocking, Sam stood in the frame and recorded through her camcorder again. Alex stood next to her.

“Sam, I swear to God, if you are recording me again…!” Alex heard a slightly annoyed girl’s voice but he couldn’t see anybody yet.

“I would never do that, you know me…” Sam giggled as she held onto the camera.

“What is it, Sam? I’m going over the articles of Yamatai again and I’ve got the feeling my brain consists of bubble gum”. the girl sighed. He heard her standing up from a chair as she walked towards the door.

“Sam, if you think you can ‘interview’ me again today for the fourth time, you are so wr-“ Lara stopped mid-sentence, dropping her book and staring at him with wide eyes.

“This is Alex.” Sam broke the silence. “He’s our technician. Isn’t he handsome for a geek?”

“Hi” Alex said with a smirk, obviously amused by the situation.


	2. On the rocks

_“Our first encounter would not have been this embarrassing, if I hadn’t stared at him like a deer in the lights”_ Lara thought to herself as she was lying in her bed in the dark, trying to get some sleep.

She wasn’t shy or anything, neither was she embarrassed to talk to boys slash strangers. It was just that Alex had caught off guard.

Lara sunk her face into her pillow in frustration. The worst about it was, Sam had been right. Alex really _was_ handsome. Since that incident a few days ago, Sam wouldn’t leave her alone about it and she hated her for it.

Everything was dark, but she could still feel the rain pressing against her window. She sighed. Rain had always calmed her down ever since she was a kid but her thoughts were somewhere different today. She looked at her phone. 1 am. The crew was fast asleep already and she wasn’t even tired enough to think about sleeping. Lara’s thoughts were spinning, she felt her anxiety creeping up.

Everything happened too fast for her to handle. She was here. On the Endurance. In the middle of the ocean. They knew their goal was to find the long lost Yamatai kingdom. But they still didn’t know were exactly to start. She had gotten into an arguement with Dr. Whitman today because she thought the key to this mystery lay in the Dragon’s Triangle. This was the place they should head for, she was sure. Or was she?

Some of the crew members had agreed, others disagreed. “I completely trust you, little bird”, Jonah had said. “I think you’re right.” She had looked around and had seen Alex typing something on his laptop, barely paying attention to what they were talking about.

She groaned and turned the light next to her bed on again, sitting up. If she wanted to get some sleep tonight, she had to do something. Maybe she could use a drink.

Standing up, she checked herself in the small mirror. _“Should I change?”_ she asked herself, looking at her reflection. She was wearing a black top and shorts. Deciding that it wouldn’t be worth it, because everyone else was already asleep, she opened her door quietly and slipped outside.

The floor felt cold under her bare feet as she silently made her way down the corridor, trying not to wake anybody up. Sam’s room. Alex’ room. Her thoughts went to her slumbering best friend and before she could do anything, she thought about sleeping Alex, before she felt crept out by herself and tried not to think of a sleeping stranger she met a few days ago and had barely spoke to until now.

She turned the dimmed light on in the lounge, heading for the bar. _“I wonder if I’m the only who can’t sleep…”_ she thought to herself as she filled her glass with ice cubes. She really hoped a drink would calm her down.

“You can’t sleep either, huh?” she heard a voice behind her as she held the whiskey bottle in her hand. She turned around and saw Alex standing at the door, peeking into the room, his laptop under his arm. “Mind if I keep you company?” he asked, waiting for a response. “Sure. Do you want a drink while I’m at it?” she asked, pointing to the bottle in her hand. He just nodded as he sat down on one of the stools that stood at the counter.

Lara handed over one glass and kept the other one herself, standing on the other side of the counter. “So, why are you awake? I guess you don’t lure around at the bar at night just to improve your bartender skills.” he said with an amused smile. She looked at him closer now as he spoke. His hair was messy; it looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He had dark circles under his blue eyes and an exhausted look on his face.

“You guess right” she answered him honestly as they touched glasses. “Anxiety, I guess…this whole uncertainty is really getting to my nerves…how about you? You look like you haven’t slept in a while, too.”

“Insomnia strikes again…I am getting this a lot here. But that’s nothing new for me, really.” Alex said as he took a big sip of his glass.

“That doesn’t sound good, Alex.” Lara stated worried, taking another sip, too.

“Well, it’s not like it’s the first time...but it doesn’t matter. Forget about it. The whiskey will do the trick today” he said flatly, not leaving her eyes with his as he spoke with her. “Don’t worry about the argument you had with Whitman earlier…he simply doesn’t understand you. All your arguments were valid.”

Alex smiled at her and Lara wondered how the hell he knew that this was one of the points that bothered her at the moment. Apparently he had paid more attention to her than she had thought.

“I want to show you something” he said, picking up the laptop and his empty glass from the counter. “Something cool, trust me. I worked on it the past hours.” he added as he sat down on the couch. “Ok, show me” she said surprised as she followed him with her own glass and the bottle, pouring both of them the third glass of whiskey. He typed in his password and a lot of tabs showed up on his screen. Lara sat next to him, looking at his profile from the side. He looked concentrated, even when he was exhausted. The screen reflected slightly in his glasses as he typed in more codes in a tab that she didn’t really understand.

“So, what is that?” she asked curiously, starring at the screen.

“Wait…let me just…here” he said, showing her a popular shopping website. “I took out the delivery charges. Look. Everybody can order stuff for free right now” he grinned, taking another sip of his whiskey. “Until they figure it out and kick me out of their system sooner or later, that is…but still” he added, clearly pleased about the work he had done. "It's a fun pastime when you don't have anything else to do."

“You can do that?!” Lara starred at him with an open mouth. He laughed. “Don’t look so shocked. I’ve told you that’s my specialty” he told her in his American accent. “Well I know, but…that’s simply crazy!” she laughed as she looked at him. “How come you are so smart?” she asked him, already thinking about how stupid that must have sounded.

“Excuse me?” he perked his eyebrows up in confusion.

“Forget about it” she tried to fight the blood rushing to her cheeks.

“You’ve got other topics you are smart in…like archaeology and history…which is really impressive, by the way…you’re an interesting person” he said honestly, looking directly at her over his glasses. He had been trying to put his finger on why she was interesting to him the past days and finally found the right words.

This was enough to make her blush completely. The whiskey wasn’t helping her with that, either.

“Well, thank you” Lara said, clearly embarrassed. She tried to change the subject. “How come you decided to show me your work?” she asked, reminding herself that what he just did wasn’t exactly legal, to put it that way.

“Why shouldn’t I?” he asked back.

“Because you could get in trouble for doing what you did.”

Alex hadn't told anyone the reason why he was here, expect for Roth and Jonah. All of the others just assumed that he had regulary applied for the job of the technician. He wanted to tell Lara about it, but then decided, not to. Even though he liked her, he didn't knew her well after all. He didn't want to risk getting in trouble because he opened up to the wrong person.

“…and you are going to snitch on me, or what?” he laughed at her, still having his little problem in the back of his head. “Don’t worry. I know what I am doing.”

“No, of course I wouldn’t do that. I’m not that kind of person” she told him honestly. “Besides, I only know your first name anyway, Alex.”

“Weiss.”

“What?” Lara looked at him confused.

“My surname is Weiss. Equal opportunities, Miss Croft” Alex winked at her.

Lara didn’t really notice until now that they were sitting much closer to each other now than they had before, their legs were touching. Thinking about it made her blush, but she didn’t want to shuffle back to her original seating position now. She just got comfortable next to him.

“You tired already?” he asked as he looked at her.

“No, not really…do you have any movies on your laptop?” she asked sheepishly. “Maybe we could…watch one.”

“Sure…I took a few movies with me. You can choose.” He said, standing up.

She eyed him suspiciously. Seeing her doubt, he sighed. “I’m not going to murder you, Lara.” he said flatly. “Hands stay where they are…promise” he told her, holding his hands up.

“I’ll take you up on that.” she said, following him to his room.

 

* * *

Lara was surprised that Alex too admired the movies of Tarantino. “Let’s watch Kill Bill” she said to him. “Uma Thurman is simply amazing in that one.” She felt free to sit on his bed.

“Good choice.” Alex said in approval as he sat down next to her, putting the DVD into the drive.

 

* * *

 

The Bride was facing off against O-Ren Ishii as Alex felt his eyes getting heavier and heavier and he was fighting against the fatigue that finally settled in.

He had driven off to sleep several times, always forcing himself to open his eyes because he didn't want to be the first one to fall asleep.

Alex was really surprised by the way Lara made him feel comfortable around her in just this short amount of time they had spent together. He felt safe with Lara, something he hadn’t felt in for what felt like ages. He intuitively knew that he could trust her more than other people. And as Alex asked himself again how on earth they had ended up in this situation together and why she was so interesting to him, he decided that it didn't matter. He would find out later.

As he turned to look at Lara he realized that she had turned her back towards him and was fast asleep. He smiled, turned off his laptop and put it away. He then turned off the light and put his blanket over Lara before falling asleep next to her.


	3. Soda

The next morning, Lara awoke to the feeling of a big headache. She groaned. Through the corner of her eye she saw the sun shining through the blinds of her window and decided that it would be better to just close her eyes again.

 

 _“Never again”_ she told herself as she sank back into her pillow.

 

 _“Wait a second”_ she thought to herself as she felt something heavy lying on her upper body. She turned to look around and was suddenly wide awake: Next to her lay Alex, wrapping his arms around her in his sleep. Her eyes widened in horror.

 

Did she…?! No, she wouldn’t have forgotten something like that. _“Think, think, think”_ she demanded herself. She remembered that she had gone to his room with him, they had watched Kill Bill. That was all. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep in Alex’ bed, though. Lara had intended to slip back into her room after the movie was over. But apparently, she hadn’t stuck it out.

 

“Mhmmm…” she heard Alex grumble in his sleep as he pulled her closer to him, his face buried in her hair. Lara felt the heat creeping up to her cheeks as she thought about the intimate situation she found herself in and immediately rolled her eyes as she imagined Sam finding out where she had spent the last night. Nothing had happened, really. But still, Sam would make a gigantic big deal out of it and would ask her a thousand questions about every little detail.

 

Lara freed herself from Alex’ iron grip and tried not to wake him up as she slowly made her way out of his bed. As she stood barefoot in his room, she stretched. She needed an Aspirin as soon as possible. She silently opened Alex’ door and peeked out to make sure nobody was outside at the moment. She took the chance to sneak out, closed the door behind her and made her way to her own room.

 

She exhaled deeply as she leaned her back against her closed door. Deciding that she needed a cold shower, she pulled fresh clothes out of her suitcase and began to collect a towel, shampoo etc.

 

Just in that moment, she heard a knock at her door and froze.

 

 _“Alex?”_ she asked herself, wondering if she had accidentally woken him up.

 

As she opened her door, she saw Sam standing in front of it.

 

“Good morning, bestie!” Samantha grinned at her. How the hell was she _this_ awake at this time? _“Oh”_ Lara thought to herself _. “Maybe because she wasn’t drinking half the night and spent the other half on watching a movie…”_

 

“Good morning, Sam.” Lara answered with a smile, hoping Sam wouldn’t have already figured out her little secret, given how curious she always was.

 

“You want to go eat breakfast? Jonah told me it’s ready in half an hour. Most of the others are awake already…you slept uncommonly long. Had a tough night?” she asked her.

 

“Well, yeah, you could say that…I was worrying about my problem with Whitman again. And I am totally _starving_ right now. But I definitely need a shower first…see you at breakfast?”

 

“Sure, see you then. I’m going back to the kitchen, I’m going to annoy Jonah a bit more” she said jokingly. Lara laughed as she packed together the things she had gathered, closing the door behind her as she walked along the corridor with Sam. She watch Sam’s face as they walked past Alex door. “I guess he was up all night again hacking stuff or something” Sam guessed _. “Almost…”_ Lara thought to herself as their paths parted and she entered the shower.

 

* * *

 

Everyone else was already sitting together at the table as Alex came into the kitchen. “Good morning” he muttered as he sat down on the free chair across from Lara.

 

His hair was messy as always and he was wearing a pair of jeans and a grey sweater. Lara looked at him closely as he poured himself a coffee and began to shovel bacon and eggs onto his plate.

 

“You look like you have been run over by a train, kid” said Roth, grinning at him. “Had a long night?”

 

“ Yeah, you could say that. I feel like shit” he laughed, pouring himself another coffee after he had finished the first one in a few gulps.

 

“Was it at least worth it?” Sam laughed.

 

“Definitely. And definitely worth the headache…” he answered her, looking across the table, meeting Lara's glance before quickly looking away with a smile she couldn’t quite read.

 

She smiled back at him, passing him a package of Aspirin. Alex looked at it quickly and took one. “Thanks” he said shortly, looking at her directly now over his glasses. “Compliment to the cook” he said, looking towards Jonah now. “Best bacon ever” he grinned, finishing his plate.

 

“It’s world famous” Jonah laughed.

 

* * *

 

“You damn piece of junk!” Lara railed against her laptop loudly, sitting outside on the floor of the deck, leaning against a wall. She was now banging on the keyboard and Alex clearly saw her frustration as he walked in her direction.

 

“Why the hell are you so angry, girl” he laughed at her, sinking down next to her.

 

“ _Because_ ” she said “this stupid thing doesn’t work like I want it to work. It has stopped working all of a sudden and I can’t even turn it on anymore”

 

“All of a sudden?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Are you _sure_?”

 

“Okay…maybe I spilled a soda on it a few days ago…” she admitted, clearly embarrassed.

 

Alex threw his head back as he began to laugh loudly.

 

“You know…laptops do that sometimes…stop working when you spill Coke on it” he said dryly.

 

“Enough already” Lara said, but she had to laugh. She looked at him as he smiled at her. She realized just now how blue his eyes were as the sun shone right at them.

 

“You are right…I am terrible with technology. But maybe…can you fix it for me?”

 

“What’s in it for me?” Alex teased her as he already took the laptop from her.

 

“No idea…what do you want?” she played along, grinning at the American.

 

“I tell you what…if I manage to fix your laptop, we watch the sequel of Kill Bill on it. Deal?” he offered her, bumping his shoulder slightly against hers jokingly.

 

“Are you this convinced that you can fix it?” she laughed as she bumped her shoulder back at his. “Because I heard you aren’t as good as you _think_ you are…” she teased him, hoping he knew she meant this as a joke.

 

Gladly, he took it as a joke. “That someone doesn’t know me well, then” he winked at her.

 

The sun was warming them, comforting them. Lara enjoyed the warmth, she had always been a summer child. She leaned her head against Alex’ shoulder and closed her eyes.

 

“Do you think we’ll find it?”

 

“The Yamatai kingdom? Most likely. As long as we’ve got you by our side, Miss Adventure. I’ll back you up next time Mr. Whitman is in one of his moods again, that’s for sure.” Alex said, closing his eyes too and leaning his head against the top of hers.

 

They both didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to. Lara got the feeling that she had found someone special. Someone she could be silent with, without it becoming uncomfortable. So she enjoyed the sun a little longer.


	4. Night owl

Alex was leaning against the kitchen counter as he chatted with Jonah. He had just told him about his Maori tattoos. “Awesome” Alex commented, automatically rubbing his neck with his hand where his caffeine tattoo was.

 

“So, what is going on between you and Lara?” Jonah asked, all of a sudden. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool too, man.”

 

Alex opened his mouth, not knowing what to answer. Had he noticed that Lara had slept in his room the other day? No, it couldn’t be. But still, there was nothing going on between him and Lara, he technically had nothing to hide.

 

“Nothing, man. Why do you think that?” Alex honestly wondered.

 

“I see how she looks at you, Alex. And I see how you look back at her” Jonah said with a knowing smile.

 

He admitted to himself that he liked Lara, sure. But was it that obvious to others? Even he himself didn’t really know what he wanted yet. Would it even turn out to be a good idea if they had something going on? Would he regret it? Or would Lara?

 

“Don’t look so shocked” Jonah laughed. “It’s not that obvious, trust me. Only thing is I’ve got an eye for people. I know people. And I see that the two of you have a connection. Whatever that may be...”

 

Jonah started preparing dinner as they talked. He had this calmness that he admired. Alex heard the door open. Sam walked in and decided to keep them company. Alex still didn’t really know what to think of her. She was nice and she had her heart in the right place but it annoyed him that she flirted with him non-stop. He could already see himself rolling his eyes as he thought about what would follow any moment. He also knew that he shouldn't take the flirting seriously because he was sure she saw it like that, too. It was just her kind of pastime.

 

“Don’t worry, buddy. Your secret is safe with me” Jonah murmured to him with a wink before turning back to the fish lying in front of him on the counter.

 

“Hey, you two. What are you up to?!” Sam grinned as she poked Alex in the ribs.

 

“Hey Sam. We’re preparing dinner. Well…I am. Alex is supervising me.” Jonah joked.

 

“You could supervise _me_ anytime” Sam whispered in Alex’ ear. She stood on her tiptoes to reach his ear, touching his shoulder with her hand.

 

He tried to suppress a shiver and wondered what to answer to her. He should be used to that, really, but it made him uncomfortable every time once more.

 

“Stop that, Sam” He said directly to her, not knowing how to frame it a bit friendlier. She let go of his shoulder.

 

“Yeah, yeah” she smirked at him, giving him a wink.

 

Alex realized she still didn’t understand. She most likely thought he played hard to get, when in reality, he _really_ wasn’t interested in her. A part of him wished Lara would throw herself at him like that, because that would make everything so much easier. But the bigger part of him was glad that she wasn’t like Sam at all. She was thoughtful and a bit more reserved and he valued her for that. It made her kind of cute.

 

Thinking of Lara, he still hadn’t completely fixed her laptop. “I need to go, guys” Alex said as he left the room. “Have to fix something” he murmured, already deep in his thoughts about how to fix a laptop that was _so total_ junk. He wouldn’t admit it to Lara though. He would find a way to repair it.

 

* * *

 

Alex sighed. He feared that he couldn’t be Lara’s knight in shining armor, no matter how hard he tried. _“Is she even interested in a geek like me?”_ he asked himself as he made his way to his room.

 

There they were. His doubts. They would always show up when he didn’t need them. Alex tried hard not to show them to others, to keep on a straight face. Most of the time, he would succeed, letting down his mask only when he was alone. But deep down, he was unsure about the relationships that were important to him. The relationships that mattered.

 

 _“Like the one with Lara.”_ he thought as he screwed open her laptop. His room was dark, the blinds on his window were shut down and the only source of light was the lamp on his desk.

 

Living with his parents never had been easy for him and he had always blamed them for his insecurities. He had brought home the best marks, had been a straight A+ student - and they still had never given him the appreciation that he had wished for. They had been working a lot and never really had time for him. The feeling of not being good enough for your parents could be very painful. Especially, when you're still a child. His parents had died a few years ago but he tried not think about it that much. After all, he and his sister Kaz had stuck together and helped each other to cope the situation. She had always felt similar - and it had helped both of them to know that they weren't alone with their struggles. Thinking about his big sister, he had to smile. He missed her and decided to visit her as soon as he got back - and could walk around without having to worry about being tackled by some police officer.

 

He exhaled deeply. “I won’t let this go.” he finally said to himself, trying to ignore the voice inside his head that told him he would never be good enough. And Alex wished that he could have locked his emotions away from the beginning, like he did all the time, but now – with Lara – he could feel that it wasn't possible. He always covered his anxiety; his insecurities and his nervousness. He laughed everything off. In his head, all of the hiding had made sense. Always. But now that he had Lara, he began to doubt his masquerade. She was different. He had a feeling that she was the kind of person who looked behind your mask, even if you didn't even want her to. Was she really? And if so, would she still like him if she knew what a wreck he was, deep down?

 

* * *

 

It was 1:30 am as Lara sat curled up on her bed in the dark, reading one of the books she had brought and holding a flashlight. She couldn’t really focus, though. Her thoughts spun around Yamatai and she had the feeling there was nothing else she thought about 24/7. _“Fucking hell”_ she groaned. The stress she had because of their expedition was immense. She could feel that her tension was rising, the longer they were on this ship.

 

Her thoughts went to her parents. And to the fear of letting them down. “I promised you that you could be proud of me when I get back from this trip.” she said to the photo on her wall with a heavy heart. She sighed deeply. Their death wouldn't have been for nothing, she would make sure of that. “I won’t let you down” she said, a bit absent.

 

Her other problem was Alex. She hadn’t gone on this expedition with the expectation to find a guy she was attracted to. It felt weird thinking that, but she was afraid it was true. She thought about him a lot. But was she really thinking of him in _that_ way? Maybe he was just a friend, someone who just really meant a lot to her.

 

Then she remembered thinking about him as she had taken a shower this morning and how she had blushed as she had realized who she was thinking of. She had asked herself if he thought she was pretty. “So I like him _a bit_ , I guess” she said to herself, trying to shove away the feelings that were more and more coming to the surface so suddenly.

 

Lara yawned. She had tried to sleep for the past couple of hours. Without success. She didn’t want to think about the dark circles under her eyes she would have in the morning. Then she thought about how well she had slept last night, when Alex was around. She had felt safe and comfortable curled up next to him. The thought made her blush again.

 

Suddenly, she heard a knock at her door. She turned on the light on her nightstand.

 

“It’s open.” she whispered as she realized that the person in front of her door would most likely not hear her. So she stood up and opened the door.

 

In front of her stood Alex, holding her laptop under his arm.

 

“Hi” he said with a shy smile. Even though it was dark, she could see on his face that he was exhausted. Not just from simple lack of sleep, but also from something different, something she couldn’t put her finger on.

 

“Hey” she smiled back. “Nice to see you, night owl. Come in.”

 

“Did I wake you up?” he asked, clearly worried.

 

“Don’t worry. You didn’t” she poked his ribs slightly as he walked past her. She closed the door behind him. “Just can’t sleep again. You can’t either, I see.”

 

He turned his back to her to put the laptop on her desk. “Guess what. It was really not as easy as I thought, but finally I was able to-“

 

Lara felt a wave of relief as he stood next to her. Before he could finish, she hugged him, burying her head in his chest, enjoying his warmth.

 

Alex stopped in his tracks and needed a moment to process what was happening. When it hit his brain, he wrapped his arms around her, settling his head on hers.

 

When they let go, both of them were clearly embarrassed. Alex broke the silence as he cleared his throat. “You didn’t even let me finish, LC” he joked. “What if I didn’t fix your laptop?”

 

“I would have done that either way. I guess I just needed that, sorry. It's all too much at the moment.” Lara answered, feeling the blood rushing to her cheeks again. She looked to the ground.

 

“That felt good, to be honest” Alex said, scratching his neck. “So, like I said, your laptop is as good as new. I couldn’t sleep so I thought maybe you’re awake, too.”

 

“No sleep for the both of us on this ship.” Lara smiled.

 

“I guess that's true...okay, uhm…that was all I wanted. You should still try to get some sleep. I didn't want to disturb you...” Alex said, his hand already on the handle of her door.

 

“Alex..?” Lara gave in to her impulse. She didn’t want him to go.

 

“Yeah, Lara?” he said confused.

 

“Can you stay the night?”

 

Alex closed the door again hesitately. “Why?” he asked, clearly confused.

 

“Well, I have trouble sleeping and you do, too. I thought maybe…it would be helpful for the both of us. Last night, I fell asleep really fast when I was with you, Alex.”

 

“Sure, Lara, I'll stay.” he said with a smile.

 

* * *

 

They lay in bed next to each other for a while, telling stories. As Lara finished one of her stories, she realized that Alex had fallen asleep already. She turned her back to him, making herself comfortable.

 

“Good night, Alex…” she whispered, turning off the light, not expecting an answer.

 

“Sleep tight, Lara” Alex answered in a sleepy voice.

 

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, like he did once before, settling a kiss on the top of her head now.

 

And Lara fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	5. Bastion of Calm

The sun was shining through the blinds of Lara’s bedroom and the storm from last night seemed to have vanished. All that was left was warmth and brightness on this morning. Alex woke up slowly with a grim expression on his face. He still wasn’t awake completely and he had to sort out his thoughts at first. He opened his eyes as he felt someone shift next to him and he immediately knew it was Lara.

 

He lifted himself up, so he could check the watch on her nightstand. 7 am. _“How the hell did I sleep so long?!”_ he thought to himself in disbelief. Lara keeping him company at night really did work wonders. The nights in which he was alone, he was wide awake already at 4 am, sleeping a maximum of three hours when he was lucky. So you could say he had made progress. _“And the other way around, too, it seems”_ he added to his thoughts as he heard Lara snore quietly for a short moment and he had to resist the urge to laugh at her coma-like state.

 

Alex smiled as he burried his face in her dark hair. He really did enjoy her warmth and the calmness she radiated. His personal bastion of calm.

 

Right in that moment, Lara turned around in her sleep and wrapped her arms around him, closing the last space between them. One of her legs found its way over his. “Who’d have known…” Alex said a bit distant, more to himself than to her. He placed a kiss on her forehead and began to study her face. Her breathing was calm and he focused on her closed eyes. They were framed with dark, long lashes. Lara really was a natural beauty. She was pretty even in a moment like this, were she wasn’t even trying to look good. She just did.

 

“Who…what…?” Lara mumbled as she rubbed her eyes.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up…” Alex whispered as he brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

 

“You didn’t…” Lara responded, still not very awake. She opened her eyes and looked at him, a smile spreading on her face. “Good morning, night owl” she said quietly. “Did you sleep well?”

 

“Good morning.” He locked eyes with her. “As long as I have you by my side, I sleep like a dead man.”

 

Lara giggled. “Like a dead man, huh?” she said as she suppressed a yawn. “Care for a coffee, dead man?”

 

“Sure. If you let me out of your bed, that is.” Alex laughed.

 

Lara reached out for her pillow and threw it at Alex teasingly. “Shut up” she laughed as she stood up. Just before she could stand up completely, Alex grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back to bed, directly into his arms.

 

“What did you say?!” he teased, beginning to tickle her.

 

“You heard me, Mister” Lara shot back, beginning to laugh as she tried to defend herself against Alex’ tickle attack. “Stop it, oh my god” she said, giggling.

 

“What’s the magic word?” he grinned at her, making no move to stop.

 

“Coffee” she grinned.

 

“Okay, fair enough.” Alex said, letting her go. “I hope you do make an excellent coffee, girl.”

 

“You can bet your ass” Lara smirked, standing up quickly this time. She walked over to the chair on which she had dumped her clothes. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a grey hoodie.

 

“Don’t look” Lara demanded, blushing a bright pink.

 

“I wouldn’t dare” Alex answered, turning his face to the side, laughing to himself. As she changed from sleeping clothes to normal ones, Alex had to admit that he had looked at her quickly through the corner of his eye.

 

“Alex!!! I saw that!”

 

“That can’t be.” he said with an amused tone, turning completely away now.

 

“Okay, I’m done.”

 

“Really?” Alex asked, looking her up and down, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Well..yeah? Doesn’t it look like it?” Lara asked back, oviously irritated.

 

Alex grinned to himself. She would recognize later. At the latest, when she would meet Sam this morning. “Yeah, sure” he mumbled, picking up his jeans from the floor. His white T-shirt was hella crumbled-up. He had to change. And he had to get another hoodie from his room, because the one he wore last night had been stolen just a minute ago by the clueless (and apparently still half-asleep) girl in front of him.

 

“I’ll go change. See you in five.”

 

“See you in five, Alex” Lara grinned as she combed her hair in front of the mirror.

 

* * *

 

 

Lara was sitting on the kitchen counter, her legs dangling in the air. The air was filled with the smell of freshly cooked coffee.

 

“Hey” Alex said, as he walked towards her. “Are you waiting for someone?” he smirked.

 

Lara blushed, even though she knew he was joking.

 

“Yeah, well…I’m waiting for this guy, you know…” she started, smirking back at him as if challenging him.

 

“Oh, that guy must be lucky” Alex answered. He had started this embarassing dialogue, so he could continue just as well. After all, they had spent the night together, didn’t they? Nothing sexual had happened, sure, but there had been some kind of intensity. “I can clearly see how very attracted you are to him” he said with a wink. He was standing in front of Lara now, a serious look on his face. Lara was blushing again. She felt the urge to look away but instead locked eyes with Alex. _“Be brave”_ she told herself. _“Only for a few seconds. Make an effort!”_

 

“If you ask me like that..yeah, I do.”

 

Their faces were so close to each other now that they could sense each other’s breathing. Suddenly, Alex closed the distance between them and pressed his lips hard against hers. Lara made a noise of surprise at first, but then wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. She returned the kiss, admiring how soft his lips were.

 

Lara could feel Alex’ strong hands around her waist as the kiss got hotter. She dug her hands in his hair and began to trace his lip with her tongue. Alex allowed her tongue access and began to explore her mouth with his own tongue. Slowly at first, but then more and more intense.

 

Alex’ hands wandered along Lara’s sides, exploring her curves. He heard her moan quietly as his hands cupped her ass. A low hum escaped his throat as he noticed the lust in her eyes. He pressed her body against his and Lara could feel the arousal growing in his pants as she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Alex” she moaned into his ear breathlessly, caressing his neck and hair with her hands. Lara was aware of the friction in his jeans and that awareness turned her on even more. She could feel herself getting wet. Her body was aching for him in the matter of only minutes and there was nothing she could do about the heat that was creeping through body.

 

In that moment, they heard footsteps in the hall. Quickly they let go of each other, trying to catch their breath. Lara hopped off the counter and began to fumble at the buttons on the coffee machine, turning her back to Alex. In that moment, she felt a slap on her ass and jumped in surprise. As she turned around, she could see Alex trying to hide a smirk as he made his way to the kitchen table. He ran his fingers through his hair and sat down.

 

“Good morning, guys!” Jonah laughed as he slid open the door to the kitchen slash lounge. “I see, you are awake early” he said to Alex with a knowing smile.

 

“Yeah, we both couldn’t really sleep, apparently.” Lara laughed a bit nervous. Did she look like had just made out with someone? She had. But the others didn’t really have to know. At least not before she herself had figured out what kind of relationship she had with Alex.

 

It felt good to be with him, though. They didn't know each other for long, but it felt like ages. Lara felt free with him, lightsome even. Where did this come from so all of a sudden? She had thought about this a lot lately, as she became more and more aware of the feelings that had began to blossom for Alex. But did he really feel the same? He treated her as if, but still, she wasn't sure. Maybe she was just afraid of losing something hadn't even began in the first place. After all, Alex made her feel good. Even if it were just as a friend. But would that be enough for her? She doubted it. Lara was convinced that, once you developed romantic feelings for someone, they were always there...somehow. You couldn't just go back from a romantic relationship to friendship.

 

Jonah was stepping towards her and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “You still aren’t really awake, are you, little bird?” he giggled.

 

“Why do you ask, Jonah?” Lara asked confused. Jonah had cut her thoughts.

 

“I sense you don’t want others to know at the moment…don’t look at me like that. To me, it’s obvious. You don’t have to say anything. So, what I was trying to say…wearing Alex’ hoodie from last night doesn’t really cover your tracks, so to say” Jonah laughed as he saw the expression of horror on Lara’s face as her gaze wandered down on herself. She realized he was right.

 

 _“Oh shit”_ she thought to herself. She must have grabbed the wrong hoodie when she had dressed.

 

“Oh my god…thanks for telling me, Jonah. I would appreciate it if you would keep our…secret.” Lara smiled at him embarrassed, then gave Alex a glare.

 

“Don’t worry, little bird.. Your secret is safe with me” he grinned at her as she hurried past him to get to her room to change. As she left the room, she could have sworn she heard Alex laugh.

 

Lara was walking down the hall and was nearly at her room. _“Almost there”_ she thought to herself. Suddenly, she heard a voice behind her.

 

“Good morning, Lara” she heard Sam say. As she turned around, she saw Sam’s facial expression change from simple joy to sheer surprise.

 

“Is that…Alex’ hoodie?”


	6. Surprises

“Is that…Alex’ hoodie?” Sam smirked.

 

_Shit._

 

“What? No…” Lara had to come up with an excuse…fast. “I…this is my hoodie! I bought it when we were in Brighton together two years ago! Now don’t tell me you don’t remember?”

 

“Oh, really?” Sam watched her with an intense look on her face.

 

_Please don’t ask further…_

 

Sam shrugged. “Well…maybe I’m not fully awake yet…after all, it _is_ early.” She added as she shook her head. “I could have sworn he has the same…so, see you for breakfast in a few minutes?”

 

“Yeah, I just have to…get something from my room! See you in a few minutes!” Lara managed to grin.

 

_It wouldn’t be bad for Sam to know what’s going on between me and Alex…but I would like to know what it **is** exactly before talking to someone about it…_

Lara smiled at Sam as she tuned to enter her room and change.

 

“I’m _so_ gonna kill Alex for that!” Lara mumbled as she took off the comfy grey sweater and put on a simple white shirt before heading back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Alex was sitting at the dinner table next to Roth and the others as he stuffed the last bit of toast in his mouth. Taking a sip from his coffee, he listened to the conversation.

 

“And I say, Lara is right to go this way…I’m tired of discussing this!” Reyes said as she pointed to the map that had been opened out by Roth a few minutes ago.

 

“I say so, too” agreed Roth. “Lara already explained this so often, Mr. Whitman. It would just make sense to go after the Dragon’s triangle.”

 

“Mr. Roth, I really don’t think we should listen to Lara when it gets to this point. I mean – I’m an admitted archeologist – I think I can figure this out by myself.” answered Whitman with annoyance in his voice. Alex had to suppress a chuckle at that. For all Alex knew, Whitman had been a TV famous archeologist who was divorced and broke now and wanted to get back his famous status by filming this documentary about the Kingdom of Yamatai. So, his history (and his appearance too, if Alex was honest) didn’t exactly underline his precise work and knowledge about what was going on.

 

Alex wanted to end this nonsense – Lara _was_ right and Whitman was just too stubborn to admit that. Everyone could see that. Alex put down his mug and cleared his throat.

 

“Mr. Whitman, with all respect – just listen for a minute. We all know you just don’t want to accept that Lara simply _is_ right in this situation. Like Roth already said, everything she said makes sense – in comparison to your opinion. Lara did her homework, so to say. You seem to forget that she’s the daughter of her parents. She’s not just a random girl that is her simply out of coincidence. She knows what she’s doing.” Alex added, annoyance and anger resonating in his voice as he looked at Whitman.

 

Whitman opened his mouth to respond but in that moment, Lara sat down next to him.

“…plus, my sweet uncle funded most of our little expedition.” Sam shrugged with a grin as she reached over to grab the bottle of orange juice. “And I really think, we should go were Lara says.” she looked at Mr Whitman shortly with her eyebrows up before pouring herself another glass of juice.

 

“So, uhm…what did I miss? I see our discussion continues?” Lara tossed in. She looked at Alex across the table, who just looked annoyed.

 

“We just agreed to go your way.” He shrugged as Lara took the bottle from Sam and poured herself a glass of juice, too.

 

She looked around confused. “You did?”

 

“Well yeah…if you look at it democratically, it’s 5:1.” Sam laughed. “So…Dragon’s triangle, here we come!” she added as she picked up a tooth pick and stuck it in the map where the area seemed to be.

 

Alex’ smile faded as he spoke up again. “I don’t want to be the one to crash the party, but I looked at the Satellite imagery of the storm activity in the area we will have to go through yesterday and yeah…it’s going to be pretty rough. There seems to be one hell of a storm – at least at the moment.”

 

“But, we haven’t reached our destination yet…couldn’t it be possible that the storm goes back?” Jonah asked, curious. He looked at Alex now with furrowed eyebrows.

 

“We’re still a few days away of that area, that’s true. So there still _is_ a chance for the sea to calm down. But of course, it’s just a possibility. I can’t promise anything.” Alex took another sip of his coffee and adjusted his glasses.

 

“Roth, your ship is built like Noah’s arch, isn’t it?” Reyes looked at Roth worried.

 

“Well, now that we have the information, it’s something we can work with” Roth said. “I don’t think we’ll have a problem. I guess we just have to wait and see – but thanks again, Alex, for your involvement.”

 

“You’re welcome, Roth…it’s my job, isn’t it?” Alex laughed as he stood up. “So, we’ll talk later.” He added as he left the room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_What am I doing here…hopefully he doesn’t think I’m stalking him or something…_

 

Lara blushed at the thought of it but shook her head fast to get rid of that thought. It was 11 pm. She had spent the day studying her documents about the Yamatai and had watched TV with Sam later. She hadn’t seen Alex since breakfast. Their paths hadn’t crossed further today and Lara assumed he was working on his computer once again. She caught herself smile at the thought because she knew that he lost count of time and space when he was working on that thing.

 

“Alex?” she asked quietly as she slowly opened the door to his room. It wasn’t locked so she peeked inside.

 

“Come in, Lara…you should know by now that I don’t sleep…especially when you’re not here” Alex grinned as she closed the door behind her.

 

“I knew it” she mumbled as she returned the smile. He was sitting at his desk, the screen of his laptop was reflecting in his glasses. He closed it and stood up.

 

“So what do you want to do?” he looked at her curious as he came closer, one hand in his pocket.

 

As Lara breathed in, the first thing she noticed was his after shave. It smelled so good – and so familiar, that she just wanted to bury her face between his shoulder and his neck. She looked him straight in the eyes and had the feeling she got lost in them if she stared at them for only a second longer. But she just couldn’t help herself – he was simply gorgeous. His dark eyebrows, the color of his eyes – even his lips were gorgeous to her. Her eyes focused on Alex lips as she spoke.

 

“Well, I thought, maybe…we could continue were we stopped this mo-“

 

Before she could finish her sentence, Alex had closed the gap between them and she felt his body against hers, pressed against the door. One of his arms leaned against the door next to her head. His full lips were on hers and she immediately returned his kiss. She could hear the click next to her head as Alex locked the door.

 

This time, it was different. Alex was less carefully with her, she could feel the hunger in his kisses, in every movement of his hands that wandered along her body. Lara herself was hungry for him, too. She had felt the sparks in her stomach the whole day. It just needed one touch, one kiss from him and she would burst into flames. Her hands wandered into his hair as she stood on her tiptoes to reach his face and she could feel his hands grabbing her ass.

 

“You are driving me insane, you know that?” Alex said as he interrupted the kiss shortly and looked deeply into her eyes for a split second. He then grabbed her firmly by the hip and pulled her up, so that she could cross her legs behind his back, her own back still pressed against the hard metal of the door.

 

Lara felt herself getting wet as her lower body was pressed hard against his jeans and she could feel his arousal in it. Even through the thick material of his jeans, she could feel how hard he already was. “Alex” she gasped into his ear as she tried to get as close to him as possible. He was kissing her neck now, making her shiver. “Alex, I-I want you” Lara said breathlessly. “N-Now” Alex looked up from her neck with a smug smile, his face close to hers. “You want – what? I think I didn’t get that” He purred into her ear. One of his hands was wandering to the inside of her thighs and Lara had the feeling she was exploding at any moment. Never in her life had she been so impatient.

 

“Alex, _please_ ” Lara moaned as his right hand found its way into her shorts. “Just f-fuck me already, will you?!” she looked at him, her cheeks burning red. He locked eyes with her as his thumb began to caress her. She felt one of his long fingers slowly moving inside of her and a moan escaped her mouth. “You have such a sweet voice” Alex whispered in her ear as he entered a second finger after a few minutes. He was moving them a bit faster now, steadily in and out. She moaned softly again. Lara felt herself dripping now. She wanted him so bad. “ _Please_ , Alex. I want you to fuck me. _Now._ ” she moaned in his ear.

 

Alex loved to see her like that. Lara was such a fragile little thing – like a delicate flower. And he loved to make her feel that way. Her burning cheeks, the sweat on her forehead, the look on her face – she really drove him insane. He began to kiss her again, his tongue caressing hers. Lara had dug her hands in his hair like she had already done this morning, but now removed one hand to wander down his pants. She began to stroke the material in his crotch and a groan escaped deeply from his lungs. He was rock hard by now and he wanted her, too. Now.

 

He closed his hands around her hips again and moved over to his bed before letting her down on it. Removing his own shirt and jeans, Lara got rid of her own shirt and bra and Alex stopped mid-track for a moment to look at her. “You're so beautiful” he smiled at her before stripping down her shorts and panties.

 

Their lips met again and Lara couldn’t wait any longer. She reached down to strip down his boxers and began to stroke his huge erection. Right in that moment, she heard Alex moan in her ear. “Lara, I want you” he managed to say, breathless, as he planted another kiss on her lips, one hand caressing the side of her face. Her big brown eyes stared right back at him.

 

_She is so beautiful._

 

“I’m so wet, f-“ Lara began to say, but was interrupted as she felt his dick poking at her entrance. She gasped as he began to push it in slowly with a quiet groan. He pushed it in again, this time giving her his full length. “ _Fuck”_ Lara cursed. She could already feel her climax building slowly. Alex looked down at her a bit worried for a moment, but relaxed immediately again as he saw the pleasure on her face. He now began to move steadily inside of her, teasing her spot with every push.

 

His hand found its way to her breasts and he began to caress her pretty pink nipples with his thumb and index finger.

 

Lara’s moans got louder and louder the faster and harder he fucked her. “ _Shhh_ ” he purred in her ear as he began to kiss her neck again. Lara reached up now and bit his ear lobe as she moaned again. “ _Alex_ ” she whispered as she felt his hard thrusts against her insides. She could feel her climax was already near. “ _Fuck me harder, please, Alex…”_

And Lara felt him thrusting his hard member even rougher and faster inside her. _“Don’t stop, Alex, I-I’m going to c-c-come, I’m going to-“_

 

Alex felt her entrance tighten around his dick as a wave of bliss rolled over Lara. In this moment, she felt everything. Her cheeks were even redder than before, loose strands of hair stuck to her sweaty forehead. Or was it Alex’ sweat?

 

With a few more strokes, Alex came after her and he collapsed next to her onto the bed.

 

For a few minutes, no one said a word. They both tried to catch their breath. Also, both of them had to process what just happened.

 

Lara turned to her side to lay her head onto Alex’ chest, her hand resting on his chest, too. His arm found its way around her waist.

 

 _“Wow”_ was all, Lara managed to say, still breathing heavily.

 

“Yeah _, wow”_ Alex agreed.

 

“That was amazing, Alex” Lara grinned up at him.

 

Alex just nodded and planted a kiss on her hair with a smile. “Next time, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to gag you…Jesus, I never imagined you to be so loud…” he laughed.

 

“Oh, so…you already imagined us?”

 

“I should’ve know you would pick that up now…well, if you want to know…yes” he shrugged. "Don’t tell me, you didn’t!”

 

“I didn’t! For sure…” Lara giggled.

 

“Yeah, sure. And what’s with that foul language of yours all of a sudden, anyway?!” Alex wrapped his arm around her. “You are full of surprises, Lara” he grinned.

 

“Oh, you have no idea, Alex.”


	7. Bliss

**“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow!** **What a Ride!” – Hunter S. Thompson**

 

 

Lara had her back pressed against Alex’ chest as she woke up. Immediately, she had to smile as she enjoyed the warmth that had developed between them. His left arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She remembered that they had fallen asleep like this – and apparently, they had stayed in this position the whole time.

 

_“He’s so cuddly when he’s asleep…who would have thought that?”_

The night they had spent together had been unbelievable and Lara was amazed by how perfectly their bodies had worked together. Of course, because it was the first time, they had still been clumsy here and there – but all in all it couldn’t have been any better. When she thought further about it, her stomach began to glow from the inside. She wanted to repeat that, she was sure!

 

But thinking about Alex, it wasn’t the sex she really was interested in – or, better said – that was at least not the _only_ thing. She liked him for who he was – that nerdy guy with the weird tattoos who was still very attractive and charming. He was intelligent, knew what he was doing and held his opinions upon many subjects. Lara felt cared for by him, even loved if you could say it like that now.

 

 _“Love is a big word”_ she thought to herself. She had had other relationships with men before but had never felt the urge to say these three little words. She had gotten showered in them to be honest, but for her, it had always felt kind of ridiculous because she hadn’t loved them 100 % back. But being with Alex was different. He took a lot of stress from her by just being there – something that nobody had ever managed to do. And she was so grateful to have him by her side – she knew she could count on him, no matter what.

 

Lara turned around now, facing Alex. He was still asleep and had this calm expression on his face. She studied him for a little longer with a smile and noticed the shadows under his eyes. Most people considered dark circles as something that simply wasn’t attractive. Especially as a girl, you had to have perfect skin – you always had to look fresh und not washed-out. Lara had always liked imperfections. She herself considered dark circles something that gave a person character –it was a sign that said person had lived.

 

Lara also noticed the big scar that wandered along Alex’ left forearm. And she wondered why she hadn’t seen it before. It was fading and from afar, you couldn’t even see it. It was just in that moment where he was so close to her; she could see them in the sunlight that was creeping inside the room. With her index finger, she traced the white line on his arm and for a moment, she felt a bit gloomy. After all, she didn't know his back story at all. And even if Alex always tried to be cheerful and funny around everyone, Lara knew this wasn't what he really felt most of the time. She understood why he did that - some kind of protective mechanism to defend himself, she assumed. But she also knew that this kind of behaviour could be very draining for him. She decided that she wanted to know everything about Alex Weiss.

 

She was glad he was here – with her. Even though they had spent only two weeks together on this ship, she didn’t know what she would do without him. He was always there for her – and she would always be there for him, too.

 

Lara was still in her thoughts, tracing her finger along his arm as Alex opened his eyes. He looked at her confused. “What are you doing there, Lara?” he smiled and pulled her towards him, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

 

“Morning, Alex” Lara answered with a grin as she pressed a kiss on his lips. “I was just thinking about how glad I am to have you.” She couldn’t deny it – she felt a little busted and blushed a bit.

 

“Oh, really, is that so?” he grinned at her. She blushed as she looked at him from above. They were only in their underwear – the rest had stayed off even through the night. She wasn’t used to being so exposed to somebody else. Alex could sense her insecurity and just smiled.

 

“You really _are_ beautiful” he looked at her. “Please don’t think I told you yesterday to get you in here” he laughed.

 

“I knew it, Alex. You asshole” Lara joined in his laughter and punched him playfully against the chest. In the next moment, she bowed down to kiss him.

 

She had only planned for a quick kiss, but Alex held her where she was and deepened the kiss. She looked at him with big eyes. “You’re gorgeous, really.” She said.

 

“…but?” he looked back at her curious.

 

“…but your breath really stinks.”

 

“Oh WOW. Who’s being the asshole now?!” Alex said, playfully offended. “And what exactly do you think you smell like right now? Roses and chocolate?”

 

“I always smell like roses and chocolate” Lara said challenging.

 

“Oh. Really?” Alex raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“it doesn’t really seem to bother you, though” she shot back. Feeling something hard poking her from underneath, she already felt a little aroused. Thinking of last night, she had the right to be.

 

Alex drew in his breath sharply as Lara rubbed against his crotch.

 

Sliding a hand inside her lingerie, he began to kiss her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm just going to assume that someone is reading this lol)
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter! I'm in the middle of my finals - therefore i don't have as much time to write down what my brain spits out late at night as I wish for. Even though, I hope you enjoyed reading this short kind of fluffy thingy. if you like, let me know what you think - I would appreciate your opinions very much! See you later!


	8. Starry Night

„Do you have any idea how much this expedition costs us?!“ Whitman snapped at him.

 

“I’m not stupid, you know? I can count. If you can’t talk to me normally, I suggest you go and find somebody else for your dirty work.” Alex snapped back, crossing his arms.

 

“Stop arguing you two!” Roth intervened. “Alex, like I already explained…the sum Mr. Nishimura is allocating is unfortunately not enough. If we want to keep this whole thing up, we need to come up with something. I know what you are capable of, so I thought maybe you could have an idea.”

 

“So you want me to do what? Hack a bank account or something?” Alex was still angry because of Mr. Whitman’s stupidity.

 

“You can do that?”

 

“Of course I can” Alex said, rolling his eyes. “But I don’t have to tell you why I won’t do that, do I?”

 

“Of course not. Also, this is not what I thought of.”

 

“Why do I have the feeling that everything you are going to suggest me in the next minutes is illegal? Don’t you think I already have enough problems…? When I think about it…it can’t get any worse, I guess.”

 

“You once told me that you hacked gambling websites to gain money – does that still work?”

 

“Hmm, yes, that should still work.” Alex said thoughtfully.

 

“What is it with these gambling websites? Can you let me in on your big secret?” Whitman said impatiently. “And what problems are you talking about?!”

 

Alex sighed. Completely ignoring the question regarding his little problem, he answered Whitman.

 

“Fine, I’ll explain it as easy as I can: While hacking gambling sides, I can change the probability of the game. If at first there was a chance for you to win at like 1:1000000, it’s now 1:1 – we could sure as hell win much cash very fast.”

 

“You can do that?!” Whitman asked, shocked.

 

“Again, yes.”

 

“It must be possible to cover your tracks, right? I mean…” Roth asked.

 

“Of course. If I couldn’t, I would be sitting in jail right now” Alex laughed. “I’ll show you. I wrote this program that gets me into the websites – it is 99.9 % untraceable. The chance of getting busted is nearly at Point Zero. Okay, I’ll help you. After all, I’m glad I had the opportunity to come with you, Roth.”

 

“That sounds great! And I’m really glad that you help. How long do you think it’ll take you?”

 

“I don’t know…it’s much writing work…but I think I’ll be finished tomorrow. I’m going to start now.” Alex said. Roth nodded towards him. “Thank you, Alex.” He smiled as he walked back inside. Now, it was only Alex and Mr. Whitman, who was looking at him nervously.

 

“Oh and Mr. Whitman?” Alex asked as he turned around to leave. “You have no idea what amount of information I found about you – information that you don’t want to be made public. So I recommend you to not talk about this to anybody. If you do: 1. I will destroy the last bit of your career that’s left and 2….you won’t find any proof anyway. I’m glad we talked about this.”

 

Alex left Whitman behind speechless. He knew that Whitman was the only person in this deal who could get him into trouble because Whitman simply was an idiot who would always try to save his own ass, Alex was sure. He normally didn’t talk to people like that and a part of him felt bad for doing so, but he had think about what was best for him – and that was not getting another crime onto his list just because some guy couldn’t keep it to himself.

 

As Alex was back in his room and began to work, he thought about Lara again. What would she do when she found out what he did? Would she approve of his actions? She knew he was a hacker, but he never really told her what he did for an additional income. He began to worry how she would react if she knew about. These were victimless crimes, obviously – but one way or another they were still considered crimes for a reason. He decided that it was better, if he told her sooner or later. But just not now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sam made her way to Alex’s room with a grin. She claimed this day her free day and also, Lara’s and Alex’. It was 10:30 pm and the other crew members were either in the “lounge”, doing the things that were possible in your spare time here in the middle of nowhere, or had already gone to sleep.

 

Before Sam had left the city, she had met a guy named Travor. Travor was drug dealer. Thinking about the long time they were going to be on this journey, she had considered it fun to bring some weed. Lara knew she did this from time to time and of course Lara, being the responsible adult that she was, didn’t approve of it. But at the same time, she had said that if could be worse and she was right. Sam almost laughed at the fact that Lara had never done this before. She didn’t find it funny because she didn’t take drugs – but because when they had gone clubbing, Lara and her had always been like an adult and a teenager , even thought they were both over 21 years old.

 

“Hi Alex” she grinned as she opened his door. Alex was sitting at his computer, like always.

 

“Sam? What are you doing here?” Alex said a bit confused, but still with a smile.

 

“Are you interested in some…?” she asked and made a smoking motion with her hand.”

 

Alex closed his laptop and turned completely towards her. “You mean like weed?” he laughed.

 

Sam just grinned.

 

“Where did you get that all of a sudden?”

 

“I had it with me since Day 1…but I wanted to find the right moment. We have nearly reached our destination, haven’t we? So maybe, it’s time now.”

 

“Does Lara know about that?” Alex asked, pointing to Sam’s pocket.

 

“We’ll go ask her. I figured if you’re with me already, she would say yes easier.”

 

As Alex stood up, he and Sam made their way to Lara’s room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You two are insane, you know that, right?”

 

“Come on, Lara. It’ll be fun.”

 

“Alright.” Lara groaned. “But if something goes wrong, it’s your fault.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I still can’t believe I’m doing this”

 

“I’m just as excited as you are, trust me.” Sam laughed. “Mainly because I have never seen you stoned.”

 

“Wait. Alex? This isn’t your first time?”

 

“Sorry, LC…I was always one of the cool kids” Alex said jokingly.

 

“Oh yeah…I forgot how cool you are.” Lara said dryly, rolling her eyes with a smile. She had never done this and was a bit afraid that she wouldn’t like it. On the other side, she was excited about doing it so she decided to just let it happen.

 

They were sitting outside in the night, but it was pretty light. The full moon was shining and you could see a lot of stars in the sky.

 

“Alex? Do you want to?” Sam asked Alex, handing him the pot as well as the other stuff.

 

“Sure, haven’t done that in a while” Alex grinned as he took the things she gave him and began to roll the blunt.

 

Even though Lara was still a bit skeptical, she was fascinated at how smoothly he did it and how calm his hands were while doing so. If she had to that, most of it would go straight to the floor and the finished joint would most likely look like shit.

 

Alex took Sam’s lighter and burnt the leftover paper before lighting the joint up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Lara had never felt so relaxed in her entire life. They were all lying on the floor now, Sam on her left, Alex on her right and they were looking into the sky. Nobody said a word, they were just enjoying the silence. Being here in this time, in this moment, was so precious and Lara wished she could stop time.

 

She knew there were things to worry about, but couldn’t put her finger on what that exactly was. “If I can’t remember right now, it can’t be _this_ important” she said out loud, nodding to herself.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sam had gone back inside to go to sleep but Alex and Lara decided to stay on deck for a bit longer.

 

“Okay, see you tomorrow” Sam winked at them with a grin as she walked back inside.

 

After a few minutes, Lara took Alex hand in hers, tracing her thumb over it.

 

“I’m so glad we are here” Alex said.

 

“Yeah, me too. How probable is it that we two have met here?” Lara pondered. “I’m so happy to have you. “

 

Alex turned to his side to kiss her. Lara was curious about how different it felt to kiss somebody when you were high. Everything was so different. She leaned in to kiss him back. Had his lips ever been this soft? Their whole connection was so intense at this moment. Alex’ kiss was like the gasoline to her fire and the desire she felt surprised her for a bit. Eventually, she sat up to straddle his lap as she kissed him again – this time even more passionate then before.

 

And in this exact moment, that would later become a surrealistic memory for her, Lara knew, she was in love.

 

**“My happy little pill**  
**Take me away**  
**Dry my eyes**  
**Bring color to my skies**  
**My sweet little pill**  
**Take my hunger**  
**Light within**  
**Numb my skin”**


	9. Flickering Lights

Lara was woken up by a swearing Alex. She had stayed with him over the night. She opened her eyes and saw Alex standing in front of his laptop, tapping like a maniac on the keyboard.

 

“Jesus, Alex…what’s wrong?” Lara said as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. It was still dark outside.

 

“Fucking _shit_ ” Alex cursed, anger flooding his voice.

 

“Alex?!” Lara was wide awake by now. This was not the Alex she knew – and that worried her. She jumped up and hurried over to him.

 

He had taken out the battery by now and began to search the room for something.

 

“Alex Weiss! Tell me what is going on. Right now.”

 

Alex had found a big wrench by now and was hammering on the laptop, destroying it completely.

 

“Lara, I’m sorry I woke you up” Alex said, but of course, his thoughts were somewhere different. He was leaving his room in a hurry and Lara was following him quickly. She tried not to stumble over her own feet; given the fact the she was awake only for two minutes.

 

“Alex! I swear to God, if you don’t tell me, I’m going to kill you” Lara snapped as she ran after him. Alex was heading towards the deck.

 

“I fucked up, ok? I’ll explain it later”

 

“What do you mean, you fucked up?!” Lara was angry now. She hated it when someone was not being honest with her.

 

They were outside now, both taken aback by the gigantic storm that had built over the night. The rain was drumming on the wooden floor so loudly, Lara couldn’t even her herself thinking properly. The wind was blowing so heavily, that she couldn’t breathe at first.

 

Before she could react, Alex lunged forward and threw his laptop over the rail, feeding it to the waves.

 

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! Why did you do that?!” Lara screamed at him now. Both of them were soaked by the rain by now. She could see that he relaxed a bit, now that his laptop wasn’t with them anymore. But not much. He was still hyped up.

 

“Listen, Lara” Alex said, grabbing her wrists. “I did some fucked up things and I’ll tell you right now ok? I’m going insane if I don’t and I owe you this much. Where do I start… _fuck_ ” Alex cursed, searching for words.

 

“I’m here for a reason. You know I’m hacking stuff, right? Well, there were things, that weren’t exactly legal. I hacked into several databases that belonged to the American government. I don’t have to tell you that’s hella illegal. Roth kind of…gave me sanctuary by giving me this job on here.”

 

Lara didn’t know what to say. She just stood there with wide eyes, unable to say anything.

 

“You did WHAT?! Why did you throw your laptop into the fucking ocean, Alex?!”

 

“I have hacked gambling websites to make profit from it. I did it yesterday to help Roth funding our expedition. The program I use is 99.9 % untraceable, but apparently, it occurred that I, in fact, was going to be tracked down. I sent the laptop into the sea so that doesn’t happen.”

 

“Wait a minute – Roth knew about that?!”

 

“Like I said, Roth asked me yesterday.”

 

“Yesterday?! And you thought I didn’t need to know that?!” Lara was boiling now, screaming at Alex.

 

“I was afraid how you would react” Alex shouted back at her, only because you couldn’t understand each other when you talked normally. The storm had gotten even worse by now and the ship was moving from one side to the other. “I’m sorry, Lara! I really care about you, you know?”

 

“Why do they have problems with funding? I thought it was all settled?”

 

“Apparently not – you have to ask Roth when you g-“ In the middle of Alex’ sentence, there was a big wave that crashed down on the deck, taking both Alex and Lara down.

 

“Lara, we have to get back inside” Alex shouted against the storm, helping Lara stand up.

 

“Where does this storm come from all of a sudden?!” Lara shouted back at him.

 

When they went back inside, the hell broke loose. If the storm hadn’t woken up everybody already, the sirens would have. Water was flooding the corridors; the ship was rocking uncontrollably, sending the furniture, that wasn’t fixed onto the floor or a wall, around the place. From another room, they heard Roth shout something. It was like a nightmare.

 

“What are we going to do now?!” Lara couldn’t stand straight.

 

From the distance, they heard Roth shout.

 

“Alex, I need you over here!”

 

“I’m going to be back in a minute, Lara” Alex said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips, looking her in the eyes for a moment. Lara realized they had still been holding hands as Alex let go of her hand to run to Roth.

 

A moment later, the lights went out and the only sources of light were the flickering emergency lights. Lara began to stumble towards Sam’s room to make sure she was ok, but she didn’t get that far. The water was streaming inside the ship now, setting it almost completely under water.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**In a moment like that, you’re not able to think. Your survival instinct takes over, and that’s the only chance you’ll get.**

 

 


	10. Lost

> **"A famous explorer once said that the extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.**
> 
> **I’d finally set out to make my mark, to find adventure – but instead, adventure found me.**
> 
> **In our darkest moments, when life flashes before us, we find something; something that keeps us going, something that pushes us."**

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“When I think back to what we experienced on Yamatai, I still can’t believe what happened. Nothing seemed to be real, but at the same time, it was as real as it was going to get. It was a nightmare that you couldn’t wake up from and I don’t even wish something like that to happen to my worst enemies.

 

I had always thought that things couldn’t get worse. I just had to. Each and every minute I had told myself that this was the last horrible thing I would have to witness. The last time I had to fear for my life. The last time I had to hide in a mixture of blood, guts and dirt. The last time I would have to hear my own bones break. The last time I would have to see a person die. The last time I would have to kill a man before he killed me.

 

 

The last time I had to watch a loved one die.

 

 

Our brains have the most impressive defensive mechanism of them all. All it needs is time: it takes your horrible memories and turns them … less horrible, less painful – if you let it. Or at least, the therapist I had once told me so.

 

They had to bring me to a special hospital in Japan to treat my injuries as soon as possible. I had caught several diseases on Yamatai because my flesh wounds had become infected. The metal rod i had fallen on when I escaped that cave in Yamatai had pierced nearly completely through my side - it was a wonder that it hadn't sliced open any of my internal organs. Some of my ribs were broken, just like my collarbone. It was only then that I realized how much pain I actually felt. The pain was so immense, I got pumped full of so much Valium, I couldn’t even remember my name. But that was not the worst thing that could have happened to me. At that time, I was thankful for the pause that my thoughts had to make because of the painkillers. Sometimes, I wish I could still turn my emotions off just like that.

 

I can’t remember how long I had to stay in Japan before I could finally go back home to Bristol. Two month, maybe three? The word “home” always sounds so determined. Like something that is always there. Normally, of course it is. But when I think about my home, I always get this white noise in my head, because there just is no home for me at the moment. Sure, I have my apartment – but that is not what I mean by that.

 

Thinking about home, I just feel empty.

 

_Mom._

_Dad._

_Roth._

_Alex._

When I got back to Bristol I had a breakdown. I screamed and I cried and I screamed even more; screamed at the rain that we got so often in Bristol because it reminded me of the things that I was trying to forget. And I cried my heart out so bitterly, I thought I was going insane. My chest felt so heavy, I had the feeling I couldn’t breathe. In my own body, I felt as if I was suffocating. Of course you could try, but you never forgot the things you wanted to forget so badly. The one person you could imagine a future together, for example.

 

 _Alex_. Even thinking about his name hurts so goddamn much, I think I have to throw up. How the hell did I get so attached to him? People say that as time passes, unrequited love does, too. But I don’t feel that at all. I have the feeling that I even love him more and more, with every day that passes.

 

I never thought I would say something so mushy – but I’m afraid, it’s true. I had never thought that I could actually love someone, because before Alex, I never developed this kind of feelings for a partner.

 

 _The storm_. When the storm hit our ship, Alex and I were having an argument. At that moment, I thought it was something important. But thinking about what happened afterwards, it just sounds ridiculous. We were fighting about some stupid illegal thing that Alex had been doing recently at that time. And even though I had been mad at him – even after we stranded on this fucking island – I loved him. And by love, I mean real love. Not just being _in_ love. And I feel like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet for not telling him. For not telling him instead of the fighting we did. For not telling him when I saw him again on the island. For not even fucking telling him when I found him on the Endurance – the last time I saw him.

 

You can’t imagine the anger and the regret I have inside of me at this very moment. Anger that is directed to nobody else than me. Regret that I try not to let too close to me.

 

I try to move on, like everyone is telling me. I distract myself with literature, movies and languages, everything I can get a hold on. I go out with Sam and other friends on the weekends, trying to forget what I want to forget. But still, I am feeling empty. And still, I can’t forget Alex.”


End file.
